FROM THE BACK PORCH

 A SUPRISING BIT OF LEARNING

                                                    

                                                                  The Secret of Sync

           What learning can come out of a busy, noisy, turbulent  Apple Store?

I sat with my personal tutor, Michele (Apple One-to-One) and tried to master the intricacies of moving files from  my new MacBookAir to my IPad Mini.  Michele is a master of quiet, patient questioning and waiting as I fumbled… Then, “AHA, there it is. I just did it!”  The MacBookAir was in sync, or synchonizing the data from its infinite innards to those of the Ipad. A tiny world image twirled on both machines until the “sync” was completed.

         I learned (again) the vital importance of sequence. I’ve been teaching that for years as a Dialogue Educator, and here I learned it anew. When I omit a step in the sequence, the process dies.  When all the steps are faithfully taken: click here, tap here, check this box here with a click…the process thrives.

           If Apple is able to do that between two metallic machines, why can’t we do it between two brain-rich, smart, experienced, kindly, thinking, feeling human beings?

           When I next find myself out of sync with my friend, or husband or wife or teen-aged son, I can take a lesson from Apple:  check the sequence of steps along the route  of the dialogue… (1) What did I omit? (2) Where did I skip a step? (3) When did I put in an unallowed step?  

            I rolled my eyes when my son said, “I’ll be home early, Mom, promise!” (3)

            I never asked him specifically to call me when he left the party.  (1)

            I  was not clear that I meant 10:00 p.m. home = early. 10:01 = late. (2)

       The process dies: he comes in at 10:30; I am all set to call the police! His phone was busy and I left ten messages in thirty minutes. He strolls into the house at 10:30 saying, “See, Mom, I told you I would be home early!” He was surprised to find me wild with anxiety and anger. 

      We were not in sync. Let’s see what a checklist of steps: ( the protocols of syncing two machines are always a checklist of necessary steps. ) 

_____“I’ll be home early, Mom, promise!” 

_____I take you at your word, Son. What time is early?

____“Ummm”

____“No, early is 10:00; late is 10:01. At 10:01 I start to worry.    (Clear Step #1)

         “Call me before you leave the party to say you are heading home. Since the Parker’s

house is twenty minutes away, I will expect a call before 9:40.

_____“Okay, Mom. Thanks.  Got it.”   (Clear Step #2 )

        Two clicks to sync: Tommy is home at 9:55 having called his Mom at 9:30 or so.  Mom did not offer physical signs of disbelief because the checklist was in proper, comprehensive sequence, and they were in sync.

Such protocols (check lists of steps in sequence) are non-partisan. Can we ask Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate to try them? Can we do this in our classrooms, families, shops, offices? 

When I miss out on a step in using an Apple protocol (steps in sequence), my tutor gently reminds me: “Wait, you are on the right track. What did you miss?” The sequence is logical, almost natural. Once I see it, I can repeat it.

So the secret to sync is sequence and dialogue about the sequence. A checklist can help confirm the sequence; talking through the checklist together (dialogue) is really essential.