Sunday, March 19, 2017

POWER  

8/12/2015

What power does an old lady have? While I can swim
hard, and read up a storm and even write a good line…
these gifts are nothing compared to what the good poet
Keats called negative capability.

My power these days is manifested in the natural
vulnerability of 84 years: folks step in to help me when I
show my need; they laugh with me at my foibles and
weaknesses; they eat my over-roasted vegetables with
gracious thanks; they pick me up from the deck when I
fall and set me gently into my recliner; they tease me
chuckling at my able forgettery – What was the fellow’s
name?; they call me “ How are you? “ just to be sure I
am doing well. My sweet, smart priest comes for coffee
– what a joy that is!

Here’s an example of the power of aging vulnerability:
I was scheduled last month to do a Skype conference
call for a graduate student who was completing her
doctoral work. I had prepared hard, and sent an email to
my colleagues on the committee with my comments on
Nancy’s thesis. Then, Skype announced that it was not
working! So I spent the time of the conference call
listening to the others speak on Nancy’s phone! I was
silenced. My friends who heard of the event celebrated Nancy’s
major achievement: “You silenced Jane!” Hmmm! 
That was my friends laughing! Now that’s power!

My mantra these days is “Jane rocks!” Young Zachary
reminded me that that phrase has two meanings: I
mean only one: what my recliner does naturally.
Rocking and reading, watching films, writing, chatting
with friends – that’s power!

I often say: “You’ve got to walk slow to keep up with
me!” And I swim fast and hard every morning. I am
deeply contented sitting and rocking by my fire, or on
my back porch!


Vulnerability and contentment – that’s power at 84!
                MAKE THE ANSWER AN OPEN QUESTION


      In an invigorating dialogue with participants in THE FACILITATION COURSE on September 14th, a woman asked me:

"If I know the answer and what I know is a fact, why not just tell it to the students?"

    Let's consider two approaches.

A.    What's the capital of the state of North Carolina?  Raleigh. Done!  

 B.    How about: The capital of the state of North Carolina is Raleigh. Look at this map of the state: 
     Why do you think Raleigh was the choice for the capitol?  
     What other city might have been considered?  
     How does Raleigh being the capital serve the state?

Where is the better learning?  Where are learners engaged, cognitively, affectively, actively?  I have often said there are three
things that make Dialogue Education work: in this order: time, time and time.  Approach B takes more time; students can work in pairs and respond to the questions, then share in the larger group. Try this with the capital of Armenia!  or  AFGHANISTAN!

THE DEATH OF DIALOGUE

      THE PIT OF SELF – REFERRAL  PS-R

   Or THE DEATH OF DIALOGUE 

     My friend is trying to dialogue with me. She mentions that she has been plagued by migraine headaches this past week. I fall headlong into the P-SR by responding, “I’ve had a strange headache all week, too. It is in the back of my head and won’t go away!”

THE DEATH OF DIALOGUE!

     Another friend calls, complaining of the behavior of her teen-age son, saying how concerned she is about him and the friends he has chosen. I fall again into the P-SR by saying: “I know how that is. I’ve had a lifetime of that concern with my grand-daughter. I wonder when she will ever grow up!”

THE DEATH OF DIALOGUE!

  My friend and I are both in the pit, she, unheard, unconsoled; I selfish and self-concerned.

    How can dialogue be saved from such an awful death?  I propose to myself four little words. In fact I have them written on a card on the table near my phone: “Tell me about it.” 

     If I can get out of my selfishness long enough to keep quiet, with occasional Hmm’s and Uh huh’s and Oh my’s,  I might catch myself learning to listen. Both my friend and I might taste the joy of dialogue: she - heard and consoled; I -amazed at my quiet response.


   “Tell me about it.”